i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
