Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
