it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
