i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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