you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
