I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
