so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
