I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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