In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
