He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
