I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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