i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
