Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
