Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
