You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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