doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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