Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
