I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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