I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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