i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
