We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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