You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
