Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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