True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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