Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
