I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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