Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
