Michael Bay diarrhea
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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