My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
