Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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