white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
