I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Apparently you make a good broom.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
