Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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