I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
