My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
