Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
