atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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