My hand turned me down
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
