i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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