If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
