found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Life is so much better after having sex.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
