it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
