is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
