You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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