Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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