I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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