i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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