you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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