First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
