Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
