i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
